A Letter for the Orphan

I have had a soft spot for adoption for a few years now.  In the winter of 2012 I was asked to help lead worship at a high school retreat.  The theme of the retreat was "Adopted."  We read through Romans 8 that weekend.  Though none of us were actually adopted by our parents, we learned about how God specifically picked us up out of our personal filthy orphanages of sin. In that moment, He called us His son; His daughter.  After years of searching, we found our "Abba," our Daddy (Romans 8:15).  We had absolutely nothing to offer him as orphans.  Our clothes were tattered, our spirits were shattered, our strength was gone.  It was in our most vulnerable of moments that He said, "I want him; I want her."   

I find it incredible that God takes those most vulnerable moments - when we are lost, broken, desperate, and completely incapable of doing anything good for ourselves - and He makes them beautiful.  

When we were in CAR I got to witness and videotape the moment when Matthew and Tina Farrell told three orphaned boys that they were going to be adopted.  As the boys took in this news that they were going to have a family, we could all tell that they were overwhelmed.  They had done nothing to deserve this gift.  They had been scared and desperate and broken for their whole lives.  

So it is with us.  We may not feel like we deserve this gift that is being given to us.  Yet God is looking at us now and is calling us to be His.  I pray that all the orphans of the world may one day know that they never have to lose hope.  They are held by the Creator of the universe. 

So here is a letter to the orphan: 

To the one who wanders the streets in desperation, to the one who searches but never finds, to the fatherless, to the motherless, to the helpless, to the hopeless: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  You are seen.  You are known.  You are loved.  You are worth dying for.  

So... What now?

Our team before we headed off to church.

Our time at Jonathan's House for Orphans was life-changing.

Each of our teammates got to stand up and speak at church.

This is Modeste. He has cerebral palsy and has lost all function of both of his legs. He crawls on his hands and knees to get around. When he has to travel long distances, he uses a bike with hand pedals. He travels several kilometers to work at a bicycle repair shop every day. Our team was able to support him in his bicycle repair business by purchasing tools that will help him to repair motorcycles as well as regular bicycles. He amazed us because even though he has a disability he continues to work hard to support himself and his family.

So... What now?

As most of you know, I recently returned from an amazing trip to Central African Republic. I could go on for years about how much this trip has impacted me and the team that I went with! But now that we have returned, many people are asking a good question... "What now?"

So I thought it would be a good idea to give a quick update of what my life looks like now and what it might look like in the near future.  

Role with Jonathan's House

Since returning from CAR, I have had this amazing burden to do something to stay in touch with the staff and the children at the orphanage that we stayed at.  I have been given the opportunity to become the Sponsorship Coordinator for Jonathan's House for Orphans in CAR! This basically means that if anyone wants to sponsor one of the children at the orphanage, they come to me so I can give them directions on how to donate.  I also will be responsible for updating sponsors about their sponsor children!  This is such a cool opportunity and I can't wait to get started.  If you or someone you know is interested in sponsoring a child through Jonathan's House, please contact me!! My e-mail address is fan4tennis92@yahoo.com and my phone number is 515-783-4056.

Future in Missions

Some of you know that I have felt God pushing me toward full-time missions for some time now. I have recently been able to take some tangible steps to make full-time missions a reality! I have begun to partner with a missions organization called Converge. If everything works out with them, they will be sending me out into the mission field soon (I do not have a specific timeline yet). Though I don't know exactly what lies ahead, I am in constant search of the LORD's direction to lead me along the right path. 

Prayer Requests

-Please pray that every child at Jonathan's House would receive a sponsor and eventually a forever family.
-Also be praying for the Farrell family. They were on my team to CAR and are in the process of adopting three boys from the orphanage. Pray for everything to go smoothly in CAR and in the US as they complete this process. They want their boys to come home ASAP!
-Pray for me as I continue to navigate through this process to become a missionary.

Your love and support is much appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this and to pray.

*Insert Adequate Title Here*

These are just a few of the beautiful faces and even more beautiful souls we got to encounter at Jonathan's House for Orphans in Central African Republic. These kids are full of life, full of love, and full of joy, despite circumstances that could've robbed them of these things. God is moving in CAR, that is for sure! Pictured from left to right are: "Little" Rodrigue, Manuella, Grace, Jospin, and "Big" Rodrigue. They love playing at the basketball court that was generously donated to the town of Sibut.

This is Sacre Coeur. He is about 8 years old and is as sweet as pie. He's quiet but loves to be tickled and loves even more to cuddle. He also loves little kids and would regularly be seen holding the baby at the orphanage or chasing the younger kids around. Such a gem! On the last night that we were at the orphanage he asked if I was his Mommy; if he was my child. I wish I could've explained how much it killed me to tell him "no" to these questions, but I simply said "no" and ran to my room to sob for 10 minutes or so. I pray that someday very soon he will have someone to call "Mommy," but until that day I pray that he would be able to rest in God's perfect love for him.

This is Sandra. She is 13 years old and she is my hero! She and her 13-month-old brother, Sylvain, were rescued from a nearby village called Njouku after it was almost completely destroyed by rebels. She has seen more violence and has endured more emotional trauma than I can even explain. She is also currently acting as the mother figure to her baby brother, caring for all of his needs. The single best moment I experienced while I was in CAR (and maybe in my whole life) was very brief and it involved Sandra. Sandra had given baby Sylvain to one of the other girls for a little bit and she was playing with a basketball with the biggest possible smile upon her face. I was convinced that up to that point, she hadn't done much playing in her entire life and I had never ever seen so much joy in one person. She has so much responsibility on her shoulders for such a young girl but in that moment, it all faded away. Seriously the most amazing moment. Love that precious girl.

I had the privilege of bringing 70 pounds of Plumpy Nut (a high-calorie, nutritional food designed for malnourished children) over to CAR. We had only planned on giving it to one child at the orphanage but when we arrived, we realized that six of the children there were in desperate need of more nutrition. Here are four of the boys (Elysee, Teranus, Rodrigue, and Jordan) eating their Plumpy Nut! They loved it! I will be tracking their weight gain for the next few weeks and am praying that they get to a healthy weight soon.

What a beautiful view we had on top of a hill at Jonathan's House all week. We simply had to look out the window or walk outside to behold God's masterpiece that is known to so few people outside of Africa. My prayer is for the knowledge of this country to grow by leaps and bounds because the people of this country need hope and hope begins with knowledge. Please share with people you know!

Great Expectations

I loathe confrontation. It's just the worst! Like, I would rather eat a bowl of worms or lick a dumpster than confront someone about an issue. I HATE when people are mad at me or when I am mad at someone. Maybe you can relate.

Because of this loathing, I have been asking God for opportunities to be forced to confront people and for insight on why we as humans don't always get along very well. Let me tell you, He has been answering this prayer! And he has been answering it in pretty interesting, and at times entertaining, ways. 

I won't get into all of my recent confrontations but I've recently gained insight on confrontation that I think could be useful and applicable in all of our lives. This insight came from the book "Paper Towns" by John Green, (a great book by a great author that I would recommend) which was a little unexpected, as I would naturally assume that God would provide this insight through the bible or some wonderful Christian living book, or some writing in the clouds, rather than a secular best-seller. But at any rate, here is what I found (don't worry, there will be no spoilers). 

In "Paper Towns," Quentin, the main character, is a senior in high school who finds himself in a sticky situation beyond his maturity level, so naturally he turns to his friends for help to get through it. But when he turns to his best friend, Ben, for advice, all Ben can talk about is the upcoming senior prom and his date to said prom. Quentin gets all frustrated with Ben and turns to his friend Radar to vent. While what Radar says in response is simple and could easily be overlooked, it is also extremely insightful. He says, "I think your problem is that you're expecting Ben to be you, but he's not you, he's Ben." So basically Quentin had this expectation for Ben to be interested in what he was interested in, to talk about what he wanted to talk about and his expectations were not being met. Ben was being Ben, not Quentin. 

How often have we had fights based on expectations that weren't being met? Have we ever stopped to think about whether: 

      1) our expectations were realistic

      2) our expectations were even verbalized

      3) our expectations were actually for ourselves, not for the person we were fighting with?

I think without realizing it, we place expectations on others based on expectations of ourselves and we resent others when they don't meet them... But is that ever fair to expect those to be met by someone who isn't US? By someone who doesn't even know what's expected of them? 

Nope. 

I think it's essential to constantly be looking at the world from perspectives that aren't our own. I think it's also essential to make any expectations we have of others known to them before we can hold a grudge against them for not measuring up. I think it's essential to actually talk to the people we are doing life with and see how that makes a difference in our relationships with them. 

We have all seen different things, experienced different experiences, felt different feelings and faced different trials. Because of that, no one person will have the same perspectives as another. And because of THAT, we will inevitably upset someone and will be upset by another someone. 

 

This has challenged me to evaluate my current relationships: to apologize to some for my unrealistic expectations, to explain my point of view and my resentments, and to ask them for theirs. I would challenge everyone to do the same and see how it changes things. 

"You will never understand another person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb into his skin and walk around in it..."

     ~Atticus Finch - "To Kill a Mockingbird"

Insert excited person dance here!

The past few months since I've been back from Zambia have been insane! I could probably write a whole book about all the stuff that has taken place but I wanted to give you all a cliff notes version of what's happening in the life of Azlyn McCarthy!

EXCITING NEWS: So I have the craziest, most exciting news to share with you all. Since returning from Zambia, I have had this passion and drive for overseas missions that I couldn't possibly ignore. The population group that God has so heavily laid upon my heart is orphans with special needs. In my mind, I figured that I would get into some entry-level mission work with orphans and eventually end up with the population group I so deeply desired to minister to. So I started doing research and long story short I found a very unique opportunity in Central African Republic (CAR). I met someone from Marshalltown who runs an orphanage from the states by equipping local people in CAR to take care of orphans and eventually find parents for them or help them transition into society. The orphanage is called Jonathan's House! Carter, the director of the ministry, told me that he is looking to expand the orphanage to meet the needs of a more diverse population... Namely orphans with special needs. 

I would love to share more in depth about how this all came to be and would gladly meet with you to do so if you'd like to hear more! 

PRAYER REQUESTS: 

-CAR as a whole. This country is not in a very good place right now and there are many needs to meet over there and not a lot of people willing to help meet them. 

-Jonathan's House. After a recent crisis in a nearby village, Jonathan's house will be taking in some new orphans here very soon. They are picking up the most vulnerable orphans, including some with very serious medical conditions. Please pray for the transition of these new kiddos. 

-Exploratory trip. I'm way excited to say that I will be headed over to CAR (Lord willing) at the beginning of August with the director of the orphanage, two prospective parents for a couple of the orphans there, and a good friend named Sara who is in grad school for special needs education. This is an absolutely phenomenal opportunity and I can't wait. I will be using this trip to feel out whether or not this will be where God wants me for more of a long term basis and will also be doing some assessments on the kiddos at the orphanage to see what kind of needs they have. This is going to be an excellent trip - please pray for safety and health for all of us in our travels. 

-Financial needs. This trip will cost about $3,000. I don't have all the information on how people can donate to this cause but if you would like to donate, please let me know and I will get that information to you when I have it. 

-Direction. I would love some prayer for direction and clarity from God about whether or not this is where he wants me to be. If he were to call me over there I would likely be there for 3-5 years and the plan would be to train and equip the locals to care for orphans with special needs and essentially work myself out of a job! No clue what comes after that but who really needs to know what happens that far in advance, anyway? ;)

Okay I think that's it! Hoping everything was clear there. Thank you soooo much in advance for your prayer support. I am aware that I'm fully I'll-equipped to take on such a huge task but I am trusting in a God much bigger than my abilities or inabilities! Praise Him for that. :)

Five life lessons I learned from my Grandma

Since I've been back in the Cedar Valley, I have gotten the chance to go visit my grandma every Tuesday afternoon. I mow the lawn, she buys me subway, we sort through old stuff she wants to get rid of, I do my laundry. Though she would deny that this is truth, I have gained more wisdom, joy, and sense of belonging in the Tuesdays we've spent together than I could ever explain. There are countless lessons that she has taught me in my 23 years of life but I want to share just five. 

1. Your "yes" should always be "yes". This is something I have always sucked at. I commit to things and don't follow through with them. In my time spent with grandma, I realize the hurt that flakiness can cause. If I tell my grandma I'm going to come over to see her, I make sure to do it, because if I don't, I know it makes her feel unloved and unimportant. I've encorporated this idea into the rest of my relationships as well and although I know that emergencies come up, people get sick, other more exciting opportunities come up, I believe we should always try our best to let our "yes" be "yes". 

2. When you are honest in your relationships, things tend to get messy. For years before I started spending time with Grandma, we had a pleasant relationship. I would see her only a few times per year and mostly talked about how my life was going. Since I've spent more time with her (and even lived with her for a semester), we have been forced to be honest with each other. She will tell me when I upset her and I will do the same. She has found out a lot about the junk in my life and I've found out about hers... It's a little messy. 

3. Messy isn't always a bad thing. As Grams and I confronted each other, I began to learn more about her perspective. I've learned about her childhood, her likes and dislikes, her family, and more. Though we have extremely different opinions on a lot of things, I find my relationship with her to be one of the closest and deepest relationships I have. That's pretty darn cool!

4. EVERYONE has a story that needs to be heard. Seriously, everyone. Take time to listen to someone's story today. Chances are, they need to tell it and chances are, you need to hear it. 

5. Always be sure to stop and smell the roses... Or watch the birds. Something I love about Grams is that she can be pretty slow-moving at times, which allows for extra opportunities to see beauty in this world that most people are moving to fast to see. One Tuesday I spent with her I was trying to mow the lawn and get a bunch of other things done but the mower wasn't working and I wasn't able to do what I needed to do. I was getting frustrated until I saw Grandma looking out the window and motioning me to come over to see what she was looking at. A baby Cardinal had fallen out of a tree and she had been watching as the baby's mom and dad tried to get it to safety. We seriously watched this bird family for over an hour. It was so beautiful! I would've completely missed it if I would've mowed the lawn and kept busy with all I had planned. That moment reminded me to stop sometimes and take in the beauty of the world around me

Now, I guarantee when my grandma reads this, she will tell me I'm exaggerating on how wise she is, say she's not a big deal, maybe even accuse me of making all this up... But to be honest, I don't really care! Bottom line is, my grandma has influenced my life in amazing ways and I feel like everyone should know that! Grams, you are the best. Thank you for everything. 

Now, stop reading and go call your grandma. Ask her about her childhood. Tell her she's awesome. I guarantee you will make her day! You'll probably make your own day, too :)

Vulnerability Still Terrifies Me

All is still swell in Zambia! I've been up to a lot of different things and plan to thoroughly enjoy my last week here. God is good!

The first blog I ever posted was called "Vulnerability Absolutely Terrifies Me." I read over that blog this morning and realized that that fact is still very much true today and in light of that, I would like to allow myself to become vulnerable again now. God has shown me time and time again that this life is not my own. I have been bought with a price and the One who bought it is very willing to be vulnerable, especially if it leads to others being encouraged and edified. Praying that He would be glorified in all that I do. 

Though the Lord has had me in a season of "pruning" (showing me where I've fallen short and shaping, tweaking, and molding me into a person that's more like Him) as of late, He has also shown me how far I've come in other areas of my life. I call this harvesting - taking in the fruit of the efforts and storing them away for when I need them. Anyhow, the area in which I feel the harvest taking place most has to do with my issues with anxiety. I don't share these issues often and actually do my best to cover them up most of the time, but the fact is that for a few years now I've had some pretty crippling anxiety that has affected many facets of my life - socially, emotionally, spiritually, academically, etc. I used to stay home alone often instead of going to school or work or a social event, I would chew a ridiculous amount of gum throughout the day, would never let anyone drive me somewhere, and would avoid other circumstances, all as coping mechanisms. For the longest time I felt guilty about wanting to take medication to help me with this, because I felt that God should've been enough to get me through it, but the truth is I wasn't taking my anxieties to Him at all. I was trying to deal with it myself and it wasn't working. 

Within the past year or so, I have spent so much time in prayer about anxiety. I've memorized verses like 1 Peter 5:7 that says, "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." I've realized that Jesus cares a lot about this and He wants to help. I've begun to take medication along with my constant prayer and have been reflecting on how far He has brought me. I no longer go through multiple packs of gum per day, I have developed healthier coping mechanisms and am able to do many things I never thought I'd be able to do again. Just making it through all the traveling it took to get me to Zambia was an absolute miracle. I praise God for that often and know I wouldn't be able to do it without His help. 

Anxiety and depression are very real. I know a lot of people who struggle regularly with it and if you are one of them, know that you are not alone. I don't believe it's a sin to struggle with these things but it is of utmost importance to know that they can get better. Don't lose hope, because hope can always be found at the feet of Jesus. If I can be praying for you in any way, please don't hesitate to let me know.