Insert excited person dance here!

The past few months since I've been back from Zambia have been insane! I could probably write a whole book about all the stuff that has taken place but I wanted to give you all a cliff notes version of what's happening in the life of Azlyn McCarthy!

EXCITING NEWS: So I have the craziest, most exciting news to share with you all. Since returning from Zambia, I have had this passion and drive for overseas missions that I couldn't possibly ignore. The population group that God has so heavily laid upon my heart is orphans with special needs. In my mind, I figured that I would get into some entry-level mission work with orphans and eventually end up with the population group I so deeply desired to minister to. So I started doing research and long story short I found a very unique opportunity in Central African Republic (CAR). I met someone from Marshalltown who runs an orphanage from the states by equipping local people in CAR to take care of orphans and eventually find parents for them or help them transition into society. The orphanage is called Jonathan's House! Carter, the director of the ministry, told me that he is looking to expand the orphanage to meet the needs of a more diverse population... Namely orphans with special needs. 

I would love to share more in depth about how this all came to be and would gladly meet with you to do so if you'd like to hear more! 

PRAYER REQUESTS: 

-CAR as a whole. This country is not in a very good place right now and there are many needs to meet over there and not a lot of people willing to help meet them. 

-Jonathan's House. After a recent crisis in a nearby village, Jonathan's house will be taking in some new orphans here very soon. They are picking up the most vulnerable orphans, including some with very serious medical conditions. Please pray for the transition of these new kiddos. 

-Exploratory trip. I'm way excited to say that I will be headed over to CAR (Lord willing) at the beginning of August with the director of the orphanage, two prospective parents for a couple of the orphans there, and a good friend named Sara who is in grad school for special needs education. This is an absolutely phenomenal opportunity and I can't wait. I will be using this trip to feel out whether or not this will be where God wants me for more of a long term basis and will also be doing some assessments on the kiddos at the orphanage to see what kind of needs they have. This is going to be an excellent trip - please pray for safety and health for all of us in our travels. 

-Financial needs. This trip will cost about $3,000. I don't have all the information on how people can donate to this cause but if you would like to donate, please let me know and I will get that information to you when I have it. 

-Direction. I would love some prayer for direction and clarity from God about whether or not this is where he wants me to be. If he were to call me over there I would likely be there for 3-5 years and the plan would be to train and equip the locals to care for orphans with special needs and essentially work myself out of a job! No clue what comes after that but who really needs to know what happens that far in advance, anyway? ;)

Okay I think that's it! Hoping everything was clear there. Thank you soooo much in advance for your prayer support. I am aware that I'm fully I'll-equipped to take on such a huge task but I am trusting in a God much bigger than my abilities or inabilities! Praise Him for that. :)

Five life lessons I learned from my Grandma

Since I've been back in the Cedar Valley, I have gotten the chance to go visit my grandma every Tuesday afternoon. I mow the lawn, she buys me subway, we sort through old stuff she wants to get rid of, I do my laundry. Though she would deny that this is truth, I have gained more wisdom, joy, and sense of belonging in the Tuesdays we've spent together than I could ever explain. There are countless lessons that she has taught me in my 23 years of life but I want to share just five. 

1. Your "yes" should always be "yes". This is something I have always sucked at. I commit to things and don't follow through with them. In my time spent with grandma, I realize the hurt that flakiness can cause. If I tell my grandma I'm going to come over to see her, I make sure to do it, because if I don't, I know it makes her feel unloved and unimportant. I've encorporated this idea into the rest of my relationships as well and although I know that emergencies come up, people get sick, other more exciting opportunities come up, I believe we should always try our best to let our "yes" be "yes". 

2. When you are honest in your relationships, things tend to get messy. For years before I started spending time with Grandma, we had a pleasant relationship. I would see her only a few times per year and mostly talked about how my life was going. Since I've spent more time with her (and even lived with her for a semester), we have been forced to be honest with each other. She will tell me when I upset her and I will do the same. She has found out a lot about the junk in my life and I've found out about hers... It's a little messy. 

3. Messy isn't always a bad thing. As Grams and I confronted each other, I began to learn more about her perspective. I've learned about her childhood, her likes and dislikes, her family, and more. Though we have extremely different opinions on a lot of things, I find my relationship with her to be one of the closest and deepest relationships I have. That's pretty darn cool!

4. EVERYONE has a story that needs to be heard. Seriously, everyone. Take time to listen to someone's story today. Chances are, they need to tell it and chances are, you need to hear it. 

5. Always be sure to stop and smell the roses... Or watch the birds. Something I love about Grams is that she can be pretty slow-moving at times, which allows for extra opportunities to see beauty in this world that most people are moving to fast to see. One Tuesday I spent with her I was trying to mow the lawn and get a bunch of other things done but the mower wasn't working and I wasn't able to do what I needed to do. I was getting frustrated until I saw Grandma looking out the window and motioning me to come over to see what she was looking at. A baby Cardinal had fallen out of a tree and she had been watching as the baby's mom and dad tried to get it to safety. We seriously watched this bird family for over an hour. It was so beautiful! I would've completely missed it if I would've mowed the lawn and kept busy with all I had planned. That moment reminded me to stop sometimes and take in the beauty of the world around me

Now, I guarantee when my grandma reads this, she will tell me I'm exaggerating on how wise she is, say she's not a big deal, maybe even accuse me of making all this up... But to be honest, I don't really care! Bottom line is, my grandma has influenced my life in amazing ways and I feel like everyone should know that! Grams, you are the best. Thank you for everything. 

Now, stop reading and go call your grandma. Ask her about her childhood. Tell her she's awesome. I guarantee you will make her day! You'll probably make your own day, too :)

Vulnerability Still Terrifies Me

All is still swell in Zambia! I've been up to a lot of different things and plan to thoroughly enjoy my last week here. God is good!

The first blog I ever posted was called "Vulnerability Absolutely Terrifies Me." I read over that blog this morning and realized that that fact is still very much true today and in light of that, I would like to allow myself to become vulnerable again now. God has shown me time and time again that this life is not my own. I have been bought with a price and the One who bought it is very willing to be vulnerable, especially if it leads to others being encouraged and edified. Praying that He would be glorified in all that I do. 

Though the Lord has had me in a season of "pruning" (showing me where I've fallen short and shaping, tweaking, and molding me into a person that's more like Him) as of late, He has also shown me how far I've come in other areas of my life. I call this harvesting - taking in the fruit of the efforts and storing them away for when I need them. Anyhow, the area in which I feel the harvest taking place most has to do with my issues with anxiety. I don't share these issues often and actually do my best to cover them up most of the time, but the fact is that for a few years now I've had some pretty crippling anxiety that has affected many facets of my life - socially, emotionally, spiritually, academically, etc. I used to stay home alone often instead of going to school or work or a social event, I would chew a ridiculous amount of gum throughout the day, would never let anyone drive me somewhere, and would avoid other circumstances, all as coping mechanisms. For the longest time I felt guilty about wanting to take medication to help me with this, because I felt that God should've been enough to get me through it, but the truth is I wasn't taking my anxieties to Him at all. I was trying to deal with it myself and it wasn't working. 

Within the past year or so, I have spent so much time in prayer about anxiety. I've memorized verses like 1 Peter 5:7 that says, "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." I've realized that Jesus cares a lot about this and He wants to help. I've begun to take medication along with my constant prayer and have been reflecting on how far He has brought me. I no longer go through multiple packs of gum per day, I have developed healthier coping mechanisms and am able to do many things I never thought I'd be able to do again. Just making it through all the traveling it took to get me to Zambia was an absolute miracle. I praise God for that often and know I wouldn't be able to do it without His help. 

Anxiety and depression are very real. I know a lot of people who struggle regularly with it and if you are one of them, know that you are not alone. I don't believe it's a sin to struggle with these things but it is of utmost importance to know that they can get better. Don't lose hope, because hope can always be found at the feet of Jesus. If I can be praying for you in any way, please don't hesitate to let me know.  

Halfway Point

It's almost impossible to believe that in a few days I will have been in Zambia for a whole month! Feels like yesterday that I stepped off the plane into this beautiful country.

So here's a bit of an update on what has happened so far on this journey. Overall, the Lord has been amazingly faithful and generous to me by giving me peace, joy, and love. I can't over emphasize how blessed I am.

What I've been doing:

-Visiting local churches - two of the services I've been to have lasted over three hours! It has been amazing to watch this culture as they worship in such a different way than which I am accustomed. It's beautiful!

-Attending ladies' Bible studies with Heidi, one of the missionaries I'm staying with. Heidi has a huge heart for the ladies here and they seem to be very perceptive to the Word. Some of her bible studies are done with women who regularly attend church and others are done with women who have never heard/understood the Gospel. Whether they are well-seasoned church goers or not, there is always room for spiritual growth, and Heidi has been doing a great job in nurturing that growth.

-Volunteering at Tree of Life Children's Village in Lusaka, which is where the 'worst of the worst' (in terms of vulnerability) of the orphans go to receive quality education and a safe environment for growth physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. These kids were all taken off the streets and have experienced unfathomable conditions in their lifetime. This has been such a cool opportunity for me. I have been volunteering here for a few days per week. I have gotten to shadow Abraham, who is a behavioral specialist at the village. With the trauma these kids have gone through, there are bound to be some unresolved issues that may arise within the home setting or school setting and Abraham is there to help those kids who are struggling. It has been a treat to walk around with him and hear some of the stories of the kids who live there. They have overcome so much adversity and I pray that they will prosper because of their time in this village. This experience is helping me to understand more about things I learned about in my social work classes, which is fantastic!

-Going out to the Chishiko village with Jeff, the other missionary I'm staying with. Jeff has targeted this specific village that is nearby where he and his family live. Each time he goes out there, he brings someone to interpret for him so that he can speak to each family in the village about Jesus and ask them if they have a bible. His goal is to get a bible written in Nyanja (the language spoken here) to each family that needs one. I got to go out with him to the village last Wednesday and we had some great conversations with the people out there. They all had a lot of questions, which proves that there are a lot of misunderstandings here when it comes to God and the bible. This is a ministry that Jeff thoroughly enjoys. Once he has reached all the families in this village, he will move onto a different one.

-Getting to know some of the Zambian people that live around us - this culture is extremely kind and hospitable to us. They are so welcoming and I have enjoyed getting to know each and every one of them!

-Experiencing a bit of culture shock - everything here is very different than what I am used to in America. I have learned a ton about Zambian culture and values and at the same time have learned a ton about American culture and values. As someone who has considered to go into missions full time someday, this has been very helpful in beginning to prepare me for living out in the mission field. It is not an easy job and actually at times can be extremely frustrating, yet also very rewarding!

-Teaching guitar - I have gotten to help a friend and employee of Jeff named James to learn how to play guitar. He had already begun to learn the basics of guitar but wanted further training from me so that he can gain enough confidence to play in front of other people. He has been an excellent student. I received a guitar before leaving for Zambia that was to be donated to someone over here and I have chosen to donate it to Tree of Life (my guitar student, James, already has a guitar) and will also be teaching a couple of girls that live there to play the guitar.

-Having fun! The missionary family I'm staying with has been very fun and much different than the household I grew up in. There is never a dull moment with four kiddos running around and keeping everyone on their toes. I have begun to get to know all of the kids and have had great conversations with Jeff and Heidi. I very much look up to this couple and am extremely grateful to be staying with them.

-Learning! In my recent studies of the Word, I have been learning about the power of prayer. I regularly underestimate how much can be accomplished through prayer. The fact that God chooses to listen to insignificant specks like us is still hard for me to get my mind around but as I've been reading through the Old Testament, I have seen God coming through for his people time and time again because of their faithfulness in prayer. I have begun to take my prayer life much more seriously, praying specifically, joyfully and intentionally. It has been cool to learn.

Wow! Looking back over at all of these opportunities, I again realize how blessed I have been since the moment I arrived here. This month has been a good one and I look forward to what comes in the next month!

Welcome to Zambia!

Have I mentioned recently that God is good? Cuz I feel that it is definitely worth mentioning!

I have been in the beautiful country of Zambia for over a week now and it has been an honor to see the Lord continuing to work in huge ways. It's so tricky to give a summary of all that has gone on this past week and a half but I will do my best to give you the gist. 

-About a week before leaving for Zambia, I found out I was actually $450 short of what I needed to get here, because the flight was more expensive than I had originally budgeted for. God provided all of that $450, PLUS $400 extra dollars that I will likely donate before I leave. Woo!!!!

-Traveling to Zambia was extremely smooth. I am forever grateful for the family I teavelled with - they were a HUGE blessing and helped to prepare me for when I fly back by myself in a couple months. 

-The missionary family I'm staying with while I'm here is also a gigantic blessing. They have given me much insight on the culture here, while also allowing me to figure some things out for myself. They have been preparing opportunities for me to use my social work skills by serving in orphanages, preschools, primary schools, churches, etc. I have also enjoyed hanging out with their four kiddos, who have shown me around and always make me smile!

-I have had a lot of time to read my bible and to spend time in prayer every morning and evening. I'm currently reading through 2 Chronicles and Acts, which are both full of good stuff. I'm also reading the book "when helping hurts," which gives insight on how to effectively serve the poor and needy in the community. I'm learning a ton right now!

-I've had a couple quick moments of missing home, but God continues to make it clear to me that He has me here for a reason. I've read a couple of letters that were given to me from friends before I left and they have been very encouraging. It helps to be able to communicate with my family through Facebook, email and Viber! Gotta love technology. :)

-Even when I am faithless, God remains faithful. I am continuing to ask God to challenge me so that I will lean on Him in the midst of both victory and defeat; triumph and trial. He has been growing me in my faith like crazy. 

-I'm realizing that I didn't realize what poverty was until I came here. We have it so good in America and I didn't even realize it. Most of America's poor are better off than the people here and that humbles me greatly. What breaks my heart the most is that many of the people here are much more joyful than we are in America... This has been on my mind quite a bit. 

-God is up to some cool things in Zambia. Heidi, one of missionaries I'm staying with, has been working with a group of ladies in her area who do not know Jesus. They meet together every other Friday and Heidi teaches them the Gospel, as well as other skills like budgeting and cooking. These ladies have begun to ask a lot of questions in regard to faith, which is a huge answer to prayer. Please keep these ladies in your prayers, as well as Heidi as she continues to receive wisdom from the Lord while she teaches them. 

PRAYER REQUESTS

-The family I travelled with to get to Zambia are headed back to America this afternoon. Pray for safety in travels for them. 

-The missionary family I have been staying with have had a lot on their plates as of late. Please pray for encouragement and strength for them as they continue to do the work God has called them to here in Zambia. 

-The ladies that Heidi is teaching are showing some signs of growth in their faith. Please be praying for them to take steps of obedience toward Christ. 

-Myself as I begin to serve in this community - please pray for effectiveness and humility in doing this. 

Love you all! Thanks for your support!

Dang, God is GOOD.

So, God's generosity and faithfulness absolutely astounds me.

For quite some time now, I have struggled in my faith when it comes to financial stability. I have been asking God to challenge and grow me in this way and felt His nudge to quit my job back in September, in order to more adequately perform my duties at my full-time social work internship and to pour into people that God had put into my life. This was a huge leap of faith, as I had numerous bills to pay and a $4400 goal to reach for Zambia, but not surprisingly, God got me through it! Since finishing my internship, He has provided in enormous ways and I want to give you a brief idea of how He has done so!

-Well over 100% of my $4400 Zambia goal was taken care of through generous donations from family and friends. (Approximately $5000 was donated!!!!)

-I have had nearly twenty opportunities to babysit for several families over the past couple months, which has significantly helped me financially. I also had a chance to dog-sit for a week and help clean a couple of houses! (Thank you to the families who gave me these opportunities!)

-Felt God giving me the nudge to ask for a donation of an acoustic guitar to bring to Zambia, so that I could teach someone how to play and then give them the guitar when I leave there. Within an hour of posting this request on Facebook, I was given a brand new guitar. The next day I was given a donation to help buy items like guitar strings, a tuner, picks, etc. to go along with it.

-God provided an opportunity to travel to Zambia with an amazing family from my home church, rather than travelling alone.

-I received money from my college graduation to create a financial cushion for when I get back from Zambia, until I find a job.

-I have been given countless words of encouragement and prayers for my trip and overall well-being.

-A handful of letters have been sent to me, to be opened in Zambia when I am wanting a little reminder of home!

-I was given all the essentials that I will need for my trip (bug spray, travel-sized stuff for the plane rides, sunscreen, books, etc.) as Christmas presents.

-While my car usually gives me a lot of troubles in the winter and ends up costing me a lot of time and money, I have had virtually NO problems with it, thus far. HUGE blessing.

-I've been given God's peace in nearly every aspect of my trip and in life when I get back.

-I will have the opportunity to spend some time back at home before I leave, to hang out with family and friends there.

-God has grown me in insane ways; especially in the areas of humility and faith.

This is only scratching the surface of what God's been up to! What an amazing feeling, to be used by God and to see Him working in light of that obedience. Continuing to pray that everything that comes from my mouth, every work from my hands, every bit of strength would be used to glorify Him who has provided it all out of His grace and mercy. (Ultimately wanting to live out 1 Peter 4:11).

Thank you thank you thank you to all who have supported me in any way. Seriously can't say thank you enough. Please let me know if there is anything I can be doing to pray for you!

The good, the bad, the ugly.

There are officially 12 days until I graduate from college. Woah nellie. 

A lot of people have been asking me, "So, what are you up to these days?" and "So, what comes next after graduation?" Here are some updates to satisfy any curiosity you may have.

Let's just say that God has been up to some amazing stuff in my life and in the lives of those around me.

Zambia

Last April or May I started to get a strong urge to look into going over to Zambia for a longish-term mission trip/internship after I graduated. In the past several months, nearly $5,000 has been donated by friends and family who have stepped out in faith to support what God will be doing through me when I go. I will be leaving on January 14, and I will be fortunate enough to travel with another family from my home church who has created a non-profit organization that is working to provide computers to college students at the International Bible College of Zambia. Travelling with these guys is a HUGE answer to prayer, as I was terrified to travel over there by myself. 

Over there I will be working with Jeff and Heidi Smith and their family, who have been full-time missionaries out in Zambia for about a year now. This will be an amazing opportunity to work on social work skills, as I will be able to work in orphanages and preschools with little kiddos and possibly also go into the capitol city of Lusaka to interview social workers to see what their system looks like there in comparison to here. I will also get firsthand knowledge and experience of what full-time missions looks like and hopefully see if that is something I would like to do in the future. 

Post-Zambia

I have started the process of applying to go to graduate school at UNI, which would start this summer. Praying that I get accepted into this year-long program! So I will be sticking around Cedar Falls and finding a job, likely working with kids in a school setting. My goal in getting a Master of Social Work degree is to one day become either a play therapist or an elementary school counselor. 

The Good

As I've already said, God has been up to crazy stuff lately. The biggest theme in His teaching as of late is that ultimately this life is not about making us feel comfortable - it is about God being glorified. God has been urging me over and over again to get out of my comfort zone and it has been extremely rewarding. While I have already begun to make plans for my future, I know that God can (and probably will) change these plans to better suit His need. I am excited to see what He has planned and am regularly praying for my desires to become one with His. 

The Bad and the Ugly

While there have been an abundance of blessings and joyous occasions as of late, there have also been some struggles. There have been moments in which I have wavered in my faith and struggled with doubt because of certain circumstances. That said, I could use some prayer when it comes to leaning on God - particularly in the areas of financial stability and health concerns of some of my loved ones. It can be so difficult to let go of control and I wrestle with that daily.

Long Story Short

PRAISES: Fully funded for Zambia, won't be travelling alone, potential job             opportunities when I return, an amazing church family in Waterloo, countless chances to get out of my comfort zone, supportive friends and family, potentially going to grad school, a gracious and loving God that never ceases to provide.

PRAYERS: Renewed faith and reliance on God for the things I can't control (everything), safety in travel to and from Zambia.

Thank you for taking the time to read this!